A proper perception?
I cannot understand my own body needs, regarding when it may need food, water, or sex… apart from longing for companionship, and social visits, or even the need for appreciation whenever I step out into the world. But, every moment, when a need arises, there is either a hesitation – whether I should go for the choice, prodded by desire, or if I should remain content with what I already am provided with, and step back from the thought which is pushing me with a relevant amount of temptation.
I cannot even realize if I have a desire to have sex with a woman, or not.. but at the very slightest glimpse of this energy in me, and of course…. admiring a beautiful woman is what I enjoy!,.. but apart from that – eternity guides along, to voice the search of the neutral perception of every minute, which may introduce us to anything unforeseen and unexpected. But was that the reason for me to decide, I should buy condoms?
I decided to enter this shop, full of women, and the lady at the door had the usual expression of any shopkeeper, “Yes.. please?”. And, I spoke in a slightly husky tone, “Contraceptives?”.. and, she just gestured smiling, asking me to step forward towards the counter. I was amused, and unaware.. who I was supposed to approach next.. and, there were was one girl at the cash desk, and another standing by the shelves..! I looked at both of them and mentioned in the same husky tone, “Contraceptives?”.. and none of them were willing to say a word or do anything about drawing out a pack of condoms.. and were pretending to hear nothing!
Awareness of AIDS!!! Hearing.. or not?? The woman in the alley, gestured her friend to speak up or do something.. and that lady.. at the counter.. simply aghast.. raised eyebrows, shocked.. uneasy.. and uncomfortable.. raised her hands sideways.. with her mouth wide open.. with an inexplicable charade – “I can’t” – which I had to listen to, without my hearing aids.. which I’d never bought.. and probably.. my eardrums were too sensitive that day.
I simply smirked.. and felt so amused at their behaviour, wondered – which part of the 21st Century, am I living in? You operate a health, and cosmetic shop, and find it embarrassing to hand me a box of contraceptives? This is a reputed chain of stores, where even men are employed.
The psyche!,.. didn’t ask you to have sex and I didn’t walk in with a high libido.. and they weren’t asked to stand naked either..!
Are we truly neutral and non-judgmental about the sexist views we carry in our heads or portray?
to be contd..